So I have started writing poetry and it is really something I decided to do, it wasn't even really something I contemplated much. I just sat down and started writing, the first poem I ever wrote was a BLOCK! it was in stanzas or anything, it was just a block of words. But then when I broke it up into stanzas then it looked really good. Poetry is fun! and I really love it, but it stirs up uncomfortable emotions, sometimes it makes me relive painful memories, and painful moments. Last night I was talking to my friend Angie about...cough cough...you know. Anyway I was rehashing everything that happened with 'him' and I started crying. It wasn't like I was crying over 'him' it was that I just relived the disappointment that felt, it was me crying over what 'he' did to me. And poetry does that all the time, sometimes it's hard because I was hurt SOOOOOOOOOOOO badly. But it was a good thing in a way because I needed to cry, it was building and building and building and finally I got to cry. It didn't last long, but at least I got to let some of my pain out.
I know that there's that whole "teen angst" thing but it really isn't, I mean I was hurt. I am not just upset, just to be upset. I had every person I thought I could trust turn on me, I was told not to feel things that I couldn't help feeling. It's not like you can just flip a switch, and turn your emotions off. I mean I told Angie the other night that I can't really express how much I cared for 'him' He most likely doesn't even understand, but he came into my life at the hardest point in my life. And I let him in COMPLETELY! And that wasn't easy to do, but then he just stomped ALL over me.
But this post isn't about 'him' It's about poetry. But then again some of my poems are about him. I have to admit. But my poetry is how I express my feelings I have won 8 contests, I mean that is AWESOME! But I don't write for the contest, I write so that my anger, and resentment doesn't build up so much that I explode. Anyway I guess I am not making sense. I am just rambling now, but oh well. Bye peeps!!!
~Sarah W.
